When we cannot solve problems of those we seek to help

I would like to share two paragraphs from Henri Nouwen's Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the long walk of faith, an extract on "what to do" when we cannot solve problems of those we seek to help. More often than not, I have heard Christians utter the magical word "Trust in Jesus Christ" or "Believe in God" to signal the end of a brief conversation (or perhaps the "exit" sign) with the other who is experiencing real pains and sufferings. These were the typical responses I chose initially as a chaplain intern, as I was frozen by fear of not knowing what to say; later I experienced it on a different level as a cancer patient. However, as a cancer patient, these responses sound like cheapening the grace of God, of distrusting the reality of God's presence and of not having experienced the empowerment of His church. Later, I learned to stand in solidarity with the patient by listening attentively, by giving my full presence to the patient. It is not so much about what to say anymore. My suggestion to all who are learning to minister to others in pain: Stand in solidarity with the sufferer, even when you can't solve the problem. It is even all right to cry with the sufferer. Your presence embodies Christ. Below are two paragraphs which are helpful to me one reaching out to minister to others, from Henri Nouwen’s Spiritual Direction: 

WHEN WE CANNOT SOLVE PROBLEMS OF THOSE WE SEEK TO HELP
But what if we cannot solve the problems or change the circumstances of those we seek to help? Alleviating pain and suffering may sometimes be the fruit of our being with those who suffer, but that is not primarily why we are there. Ministry takes courage to be with the sick, the dying, and the poor in their weakness and in our powerlessness. We can't fix their problems or even answer their questions. We dare to be with others in mutual vulnerability and ministry precisely because God is a God who suffers with us and calls us to gratitude and compassion in the midst of pain. You cannot solve all the world's problems, but you can be with people in their problems and questions with your simple presence, trusting that joy also will be found there. As Mother Teresa was fond of saying, "Jesus does not call you to be successful, but to be faithful."

Jesus said, "Be compassionate as your heavenly Father is compassionate." It's a great calling. Don't be afraid. Don't say, "I can't do that." When you know yourself to be the beloved, and when you have friends around you with whom you live in community, you can do anything. You're not afraid anymore to knock on the door while someone is dying. You're not afraid to open a discussion with a person who beneath the glitter is much in need of ministry. Knowing that you are loved allows you to go into this world and touch people, heal them, speak with them, and make them aware that they are beloved, chosen, and blessed. Not by our might or by our power but by our simple presence in the midst of suffering, we show our love and gratitude for others. This is the mystery of ministry.

Henri Nouwen, Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the long walk of faith. New York, NY: HarperCollins Publishers, 2006. pp.136-37.