Saturday, April 16, 2011

Disappointment with 5 Apr CT scan

My CT scan done on 5 Apr'11 shows that my tumours did not shrink, neither did they spread further; except for both my hip bones, to be more precise, my report says "New bony metastasis involving the left ischial tuberosity and the right inferior pubic ramus." Currently, my liver, peritoneal cavity, left kidney, and hip bones show signs of metastasis. I was also informed that Sutent (i.e. my chemo drug) has brought my condition under control. Strangely, though the tumours on my liver did not shrink, my liver function is almost back to normal according to the blood test. My previously low haemoglobin level is now back to normal. Thank God.

Frankly speaking, I was disappointed when I knew my CT result. I was hoping the tumours would shrink since I have regained some physical strength. Now, I really do not know what God has in store for me. Since the onset of my illness, I have been undergoing some emotional strain. This strain is being shared by my family members as well. I know that " … we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who in every respect has been tested as we are, yet, without sin. Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need" (Heb 4:15-16). I draw comfort knowing God is able to sympathize with my illness and trials, and I can ask boldly from Him. But how will I emerge from this illness? Will I experience recovery in this life or only during the resurrection?

The following quotation from Minnie Louise Haskins best describes my prayer at the moment:
And I said to a man who stood at the gate of the year: 'Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.' And he replied: 'Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. That shall be to you better than a light, and safer than a known way.'

1 comment:

James said...

Arthur, hang in there buddy. You are always in our prayers. I look forward to the day that you lead our church meeting again.

James and Shannon (and our daughter Evelyn)