There have been some speculations why a big earthquake, tsunami, and nuclear disaster have hit Japan. Some religious figures claimed to know God's will in this calamity and took on the role of being God's spokesperson. Their followers assumed that since their leader or spokesperson is more pious than they are, their leader ought to know God's purpose better than them. However, this is a HUGE fallacy. It looks like we need wisdom in the midst of calamity. Ecclesiastes written within the Israel's Wisdom tradition has much to teach us. A chapter from J.I.Packer's Knowing God ("Chapter 10: God's Wisdom and Ours", Knowing God, 2nd ed. Reading, Berkshire: Cox & Wyman Ltd, 1993, pp.111-121) summarizes the gist of Ecclesiastes well. Packer probes the readers to examine what is wisdom:
"...the mistake that is commonly made is … that the gift of wisdom consists in a deepened insight into the providential meaning and purpose of events going on around us, an ability to see why God has done what he has done in a particular case, and what he is going to do next." (pp. 114-5)
In other words, it is a mistake to assume that the pious person with the most wisdom would be able to discern God's purpose in calamity, whether in the form of natural disaster, illness, or accident. In fact, the preacher in Ecclesiastes is telling us true wisdom is acknowledging that life is not neat, reality is not so ordered after all, and more often than not, we are not able to make sense of God's purpose in everything or to find meaning in calamity. J.I.Packer further points out,
"It is to this pessimistic conclusion, says the preacher, that optimistic expectations of finding the divine purpose of everything will ultimately lead you (cf. Eccl 1:17 f.). And of course he is right. For the world we live in is in fact the sort of place that he has described. The God who rules it hides himself. Rarely does this world look as if a beneficent Providence were running it. Rarely does it appear that there is a rational power behind it at all. Often and often what is worthless survives, while what is valuable perishes. Be realistic, says the preacher; face these facts; see life as it is. You will have no true wisdom till you do." (p. 118)
To try to understand the purpose or meaning in everything eventually leads one to despair because one may be more inclined to conclude the world is not governed by a beneficent Provider. Look at the various natural disasters happening around the world, at how randomly disease or accident can strike a person, the way things are that should not be (such as the righteous not being rewarded, and the wicked not being punished). I am not trying to insult God, but I want to put out that sometimes, even as a staunch believer in God the Creator, Redeemer, and Sustainer, I simply do not have an answer. To be able to say "I don't know why this is happening" is to be honest. Packer continues,
"For the truth is that God in his wisdom, to make and keep us humble and to teach us to walk by faith, has hidden from us almost everything that we should like to know about the providential purposes which he is working out in the churches and in our own lives." (p. 119)
It is simply arrogant and if I may use the word "impious" to claim to know the meaning and God's purpose in Japan's disaster. If believe in a powerful and loving God, how can I explain the disaster? I can't. However, I practise walking by faith by trusting in the same God and by standing in solidarity with the survivors. To walk by faith means that even though I do not have an answer, and even if things do not change for the better, I still believe in the God who has the power to create the world and who cares so much about each and everyone of us. The preacher in Ecclesiastes does not mean taking a laissez-faire attitude in life and let everything runs its course. Instead the preacher is very pro-active about life,
"Seek grace to work hard at whatever life calls you to do (Eccl 9:10), and enjoy your work as you do it (2:34; 3:12 f.; 5:18 ff.: 8:15). Leave to God its issues; let him measure its ultimate worth; your part is to use all the good sense and enterprise at your command in exploiting the opportunities that lie before you (11:1-6)." (p.120)
I do what is within my means and leave the meaning and issues of the calamity to God. This implies that I can stand in solidarity with the survivors through praying with them, and contributing to their needs within my means, even though I do not know the "why" of the calamity. To stretch this implication further and apply it in my illness, even though I do not know why I have cancer, I continue to trust in God's deep and unbroken love for me, and live each day with whatever grace God has given me. To recognize that life can be messy sometimes, and to acknowledge that God is wise, the source of life, and to live in awe of Him is the beginning of wisdom. Packer puts a succinct conclusion to the lesson the preacher wants to impart us,
"For what is this wisdom that he [God] gives? As we have seen, it is not a sharing in all his knowledge, but a disposition to confess that he is wise, and to cleave to him and live for him in the light of his word through thick and thin. Thus the effect of his gift of wisdom is to make us more humble, more joyful, more godly, more quick-sighted as to his will, more resolute in the doing of it and less troubled (not less sensitive, but less bewildered) than we were at the dark and painful things of which our life in this fallen world is full … the kind of wisdom that God waits to give to those who ask him, is a wisdom that will bind us to himself, a wisdom that will find expression in a spirit of faith and a life of faithfulness." (p.121)
Let us continue to trust in God the Creator, Redeemer and Sustainer in the midst of calamity, and to act on the faith given us. Even though we do not have an answer to the Japan's disaster, let us stand in solidarity with them, and pray for God's presence with them. A brother shared with me recently his meditation on Ps 46:1-2, "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change, though the mountains shake in the heart of the sea" (Ps 46:1-2, NRSV). I pray that God may indeed be the refuge and strength of all those in the midst of calamity.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Reflection on church and youth in light of “God wants youth” article – Part 2 of 2
PART 2: CHALLENGES FOR MINISTRY (FOR REGULAR CHURCH GOERS, LAY LEADERS AND MINISTERS)
Most regular church goers assume that sharing communal narratives with the youths in the church is the sole responsibility of the ministers and the teachers of youth ministry. However communal narrative by virtue of its nature means the narrative of the congregation at large. It is not the minister's narrative or even youth teacher's narrative that is the source of authority for the youths' narratives, unless the minister is pioneering a youth-dominated church. Every congregation has its own history, tradition, own style of worship, preferred theology, and the social group it tends to attract. To be generous enough to encompass people of different style of worship and social status to share the communal narrative demands a vision and theology wide enough to accommodate different nations coming together to worship before our God (Rev 15:4). It is to enlarge one's imagination to hear voices of different nations singing "The kingdoms of this world are become the kingdoms of our Lord, and of his Christ; and he shall reign for ever and ever" (Rev 11:15). Our narratives constitute God's grand narrative. We participate in God's grand narrative by seeing every aspect of our lives as a journey together with God, and our narratives as enriching God's grand narrative. If God is so generous as to shower us with radical grace and love to an extent that His one and only Son died for our sins before we have restored our relationship with Him (Rom 5:8) and to include us (i.e. people of different age group, of different social status, of different nationality) in His grand narrative, who are we to withhold our communal narratives from being shared with others who are different from us?
Taking cue from Pastor Tan's Heart of God Church, I would suggest creating space for youths to worship in the church. Let them take the lead in worship, give them the centre stage where they can lead the whole congregation to worship once in a while and let them take ownership of shaping their narratives together with the rest of the congregation. It is not only the adults who have message to tell the youths and children, I believe youths and children are also avenues where God is telling us God’s grand narrative.
Most regular church goers assume that sharing communal narratives with the youths in the church is the sole responsibility of the ministers and the teachers of youth ministry. However communal narrative by virtue of its nature means the narrative of the congregation at large. It is not the minister's narrative or even youth teacher's narrative that is the source of authority for the youths' narratives, unless the minister is pioneering a youth-dominated church. Every congregation has its own history, tradition, own style of worship, preferred theology, and the social group it tends to attract. To be generous enough to encompass people of different style of worship and social status to share the communal narrative demands a vision and theology wide enough to accommodate different nations coming together to worship before our God (Rev 15:4). It is to enlarge one's imagination to hear voices of different nations singing "The kingdoms of this world are become the kingdoms of our Lord, and of his Christ; and he shall reign for ever and ever" (Rev 11:15). Our narratives constitute God's grand narrative. We participate in God's grand narrative by seeing every aspect of our lives as a journey together with God, and our narratives as enriching God's grand narrative. If God is so generous as to shower us with radical grace and love to an extent that His one and only Son died for our sins before we have restored our relationship with Him (Rom 5:8) and to include us (i.e. people of different age group, of different social status, of different nationality) in His grand narrative, who are we to withhold our communal narratives from being shared with others who are different from us?
Taking cue from Pastor Tan's Heart of God Church, I would suggest creating space for youths to worship in the church. Let them take the lead in worship, give them the centre stage where they can lead the whole congregation to worship once in a while and let them take ownership of shaping their narratives together with the rest of the congregation. It is not only the adults who have message to tell the youths and children, I believe youths and children are also avenues where God is telling us God’s grand narrative.
Reflection on church and youth in light of “God wants youth” article – Part 1 of 2
BACKGROUND:
Singapore Straits Times newspaper has a religious article "God wants youth" on 27 Nov, section D2-16. The writer Lee Siew Hua summarizes the religious community's involvement in engaging the youth. The Protestant Christians receive the most attention among other religious communities. In a poll by Straits Times directed at young people, 25% respondents claimed to have turned to Protestant Christianity, 11% to Catholicism, 7% to Buddhism, 4%, to Taoism, 2% to Hinduism, and 1% to Islam. However, the attrition rate among the youth Protestants is as high as 50%. City of Harvest Church which started with 20 young adult members and has 33,000 members today was briefly mentioned. Pastor Tan Seow How of the Heart of God Church which has currently 1000 youth and 250 adult members was interviewed for his strategy. His church provides an avenue for the youth to express themselves through multimedia, dance, fashion, worship and coordinating events. On top of that, his church offers group tuition to its young members and ropes in parents who sponsor iPod, Nike vouchers and cheques as a form of achievement award. Other religious community's strategy was featured as well, such as a Buddhist's youth rock band; youth's engagement in Buddhism teaching before dinner and board games together; Muslim teachers' effort to be facilitators, friends and mentors instead of lecturers; and Hinduism's volunteers working with youth.
PART 1: LIVING WITHIN NARRATIVES (FOR CAUSAL READERS, REGULAR CHURCH GOERS, LAY LEADERS AND MINISTERS)
The newspaper article was written in the light of recent youth gang activities. On top of arresting those involved and affiliated street gangs, the public has been awakened to the existence of street gangs which are usually at the fringe of society. Why do youths turn to gangs? Many answers have been offered and one of them is the ease of being recognized and accepted in gang. Straits Times senior writer Lee Siew Hua documents how religion is another viable alternative for youths to locate their identity. Indeed, we all construct our self-identity. Our identity is reinforced in social interaction and affirmed in community espousing our values. We live within our own narratives. Our narratives are constructed stories about ourselves. These stories manifest our values and our relationships. Every one of us has his/her own narratives and in many layers. A community has its communal narratives. A nation has her national narratives too. Communal interaction enriches our narratives, forms the lens interpreting our narratives and our narratives shape how we interact within our community. Individual's narratives and communal narratives share a bi-directional relationship. This underscores the importance of living within community.
While a child depends heavily on relations within her family to construct her self-narrative, an adult has more varied sources and more mature framework to construct multi-layered narratives. Youth is in a transition between childhood and adulthood. As one transits from a familial source for self-narrative to a wider community which often takes place in school setting, the peers whom one interacts with become an important agent in shaping one's self-narrative. If these peers share a narrative that creates space for one's narrative to blend in, it is easier for one to be part of this wider community. If these shared narratives uphold values such as honesty, hard work, respect for self and others, it is likely that one's narrative will be further reinforced with the same values. However, if one's narrative is incongruent with her immediate wider community, it is likely that she will seek another community that creates a space for her self-narrative to blend in and develop further. Lee Siew Hua tells us that religion is another community that provides fertile ground for self-narrative to develop positive values. This is not new to us. The challenge now is whether the religious community is up to the task.
Among all the religious communities featured, I would say Protestant Christian churches provide the most diversified avenues for youth to invest their energy in. What I learned from Pastor Tan is his church has created a space for their youths in their churches to tell their own stories of who they are. These youths feel connected meaningfully in their church and their narratives tell of their importance in the church-based community. Their narratives uphold values such as academic excellence, creativity, artistic expression, and because they are a community, they share communal narratives. These communal narratives reinforce every member's self-narrative. I applaud Pastor Tan's effort to integrate the youths and even to provide a platform for them to shine. He admitted that this is not an easy task as youths generally do not command high income and limited budget is always a reality.
Youths are in a state where they need relationships to affirm who they are, and to provide a context for them to construct their own narratives. This could take place in school, at home, in the church setting, in the movie theatre, in game arcade centre, on Facebook, etc. Anyone who spends time with a youth is part of the youth's narrative. Parents, siblings, relatives, teachers, church ministers, church members, the youth's peers, artistes are all part of the youth's narrative. The more one spends his time with the youth, the more he shapes the youth's narrative. However, the shaping of narrative is bi-directional. The person who invests an interest in the youth will in turn find his narrative directly or indirectly shaped by the youth. Parents who spent lots of time with their children will have enriched their narrative by their children's. Though it is commonly assumed that the parents shoulder a major responsibility in shaping the child's narrative, the exposure and peers' influence the contemporary youths are exposed to are growing at the expense of the parents' influence. The youths nowadays have more alternative sources to choose from to construct their self-narrative. If the church is willing to explore being an alternative for the youths, the congregation must be ready to create space for to share their communal narrative with the youths.
Singapore Straits Times newspaper has a religious article "God wants youth" on 27 Nov, section D2-16. The writer Lee Siew Hua summarizes the religious community's involvement in engaging the youth. The Protestant Christians receive the most attention among other religious communities. In a poll by Straits Times directed at young people, 25% respondents claimed to have turned to Protestant Christianity, 11% to Catholicism, 7% to Buddhism, 4%, to Taoism, 2% to Hinduism, and 1% to Islam. However, the attrition rate among the youth Protestants is as high as 50%. City of Harvest Church which started with 20 young adult members and has 33,000 members today was briefly mentioned. Pastor Tan Seow How of the Heart of God Church which has currently 1000 youth and 250 adult members was interviewed for his strategy. His church provides an avenue for the youth to express themselves through multimedia, dance, fashion, worship and coordinating events. On top of that, his church offers group tuition to its young members and ropes in parents who sponsor iPod, Nike vouchers and cheques as a form of achievement award. Other religious community's strategy was featured as well, such as a Buddhist's youth rock band; youth's engagement in Buddhism teaching before dinner and board games together; Muslim teachers' effort to be facilitators, friends and mentors instead of lecturers; and Hinduism's volunteers working with youth.
PART 1: LIVING WITHIN NARRATIVES (FOR CAUSAL READERS, REGULAR CHURCH GOERS, LAY LEADERS AND MINISTERS)
The newspaper article was written in the light of recent youth gang activities. On top of arresting those involved and affiliated street gangs, the public has been awakened to the existence of street gangs which are usually at the fringe of society. Why do youths turn to gangs? Many answers have been offered and one of them is the ease of being recognized and accepted in gang. Straits Times senior writer Lee Siew Hua documents how religion is another viable alternative for youths to locate their identity. Indeed, we all construct our self-identity. Our identity is reinforced in social interaction and affirmed in community espousing our values. We live within our own narratives. Our narratives are constructed stories about ourselves. These stories manifest our values and our relationships. Every one of us has his/her own narratives and in many layers. A community has its communal narratives. A nation has her national narratives too. Communal interaction enriches our narratives, forms the lens interpreting our narratives and our narratives shape how we interact within our community. Individual's narratives and communal narratives share a bi-directional relationship. This underscores the importance of living within community.
While a child depends heavily on relations within her family to construct her self-narrative, an adult has more varied sources and more mature framework to construct multi-layered narratives. Youth is in a transition between childhood and adulthood. As one transits from a familial source for self-narrative to a wider community which often takes place in school setting, the peers whom one interacts with become an important agent in shaping one's self-narrative. If these peers share a narrative that creates space for one's narrative to blend in, it is easier for one to be part of this wider community. If these shared narratives uphold values such as honesty, hard work, respect for self and others, it is likely that one's narrative will be further reinforced with the same values. However, if one's narrative is incongruent with her immediate wider community, it is likely that she will seek another community that creates a space for her self-narrative to blend in and develop further. Lee Siew Hua tells us that religion is another community that provides fertile ground for self-narrative to develop positive values. This is not new to us. The challenge now is whether the religious community is up to the task.
Among all the religious communities featured, I would say Protestant Christian churches provide the most diversified avenues for youth to invest their energy in. What I learned from Pastor Tan is his church has created a space for their youths in their churches to tell their own stories of who they are. These youths feel connected meaningfully in their church and their narratives tell of their importance in the church-based community. Their narratives uphold values such as academic excellence, creativity, artistic expression, and because they are a community, they share communal narratives. These communal narratives reinforce every member's self-narrative. I applaud Pastor Tan's effort to integrate the youths and even to provide a platform for them to shine. He admitted that this is not an easy task as youths generally do not command high income and limited budget is always a reality.
Youths are in a state where they need relationships to affirm who they are, and to provide a context for them to construct their own narratives. This could take place in school, at home, in the church setting, in the movie theatre, in game arcade centre, on Facebook, etc. Anyone who spends time with a youth is part of the youth's narrative. Parents, siblings, relatives, teachers, church ministers, church members, the youth's peers, artistes are all part of the youth's narrative. The more one spends his time with the youth, the more he shapes the youth's narrative. However, the shaping of narrative is bi-directional. The person who invests an interest in the youth will in turn find his narrative directly or indirectly shaped by the youth. Parents who spent lots of time with their children will have enriched their narrative by their children's. Though it is commonly assumed that the parents shoulder a major responsibility in shaping the child's narrative, the exposure and peers' influence the contemporary youths are exposed to are growing at the expense of the parents' influence. The youths nowadays have more alternative sources to choose from to construct their self-narrative. If the church is willing to explore being an alternative for the youths, the congregation must be ready to create space for to share their communal narrative with the youths.
Friday, January 07, 2011
Guideline for visiting church member who is sick at home
I am attempting to draft a guideline on what to watch out for during home visit to church member who is physically ill. I am writing this because having been trained for parish ministry in a seminary, having visited many patients as a chaplain intern and having received many well-intentioned home visits, I am in a unique place to suggest a guideline. My suggested guideline is not meant to be authoritative, but only as a suggestion on what home visit is all about. I hope we can benefit from giving constructive feedback to each other.
1) AIM
I believe the basic aim of home visit is to provide spiritual care to the afflicted and bereaved. Some people believe providing spiritual care is the domain of ministers only. However, according to Kate Braestrup, a warden chaplain, she is convinced every human being is called to be "the love in the vulnerabilities of human’s fragile existence." In other words, home visit is an attempt by a human being to be the love in the vulnerabilities of human's fragile existence for another human being.
2) DIFFERENT WAYS OF RELATING TO THE PHYSICALLY ILL
I identify four different ways of relating to the physically ill:
2.1) Doctor/patient relation: In this relationship, the medical professional empowers the patient to make decision.
2.2) Priest or pastor/parishioner: The priest listens to the confession of the parishioner and proclaims God's forgiveness. Or the pastor opens the Bible after listening to the parishioner and proclaims God's assurance from the Bible.
2.3) Fully clothed human being with an fully clothed human being (figuratively speaking): Two human beings aware of their social status, of their power relation to each other, and conditioned to behave in ways expected of them.
2.4) Naked human being with another naked human being (figuratively speaking): Two human beings aware of their vulnerabilities and relate to each other as two human beings. They trust each other, are honest with their emotions and empathize with each other.
3) BACK TO GARDEN EDEN
Among the four ways narrated above, I think the most beautiful one is the last one. I would suggest during home visit, one should strive to be fully present as a human being to each other, and inviting God to be in the midst. This picture is like being back in garden Eden where Adam and Eve were relating to each other as full human being and with God in their midst before the Fall.
4) DOs and DON'Ts during home visit
Having outlined the basic principle of an ideal home visit, I would suggest the following DOs and DON'Ts during home visit:
4.1) Do be fully present and minimize all types of distraction. Off your handphone or leave it in silent mode.
4.2.) If you function together as a team, do pray together with your team mate before the visitation so that your heart can be quieted down, and you may be more aware of God's presence.
4.3) Do stay with the visited person's emotions and feelings, while continuing to be sensitive to how God is present in the midst. It is helpful to learn paraphrasing the person's words and to imagine yourself in the person's shoes. Ask the person whether he/she is feeling so and so, rather than assuming. Make intentional effort to invite God into the conversation. It is absurd to talk about food, weather, church admin matter, and other non-related stuff, before ending with a prayer to conclude the visit.
4.4) Do be honest with your own emotions. If you don't know how to help the person, just say it. Don't assume you know everything. If you are feeling sad, be honest about it as well. It is more authentic for you to identify your own emotions, and to be able bring them before God. It is all right to pray "God, we come before you with our ignorance and anxiety" or "God, I don't know how to pray for our dear brother/sister, but I know your love is ever present with us."
4.5) Assuming you have a team mate, do gather feedback on how you can be more present for the other. Home visit is not a check list. It is an invitation to be fully present with another human being who is just as vulnerable as you are, with God in the midst. Your team mate should be mature and one whom you can trust deeply. If you work alone, and are keen to know whether you were present, recall the reaction of the visited person, and if you are diligent enough, write a verbatim on the visit.
4.6) Don't bring too many people than is necessary. The more people there are, the more energy the visited person need to invest in order to concentrate. As all attention will be focused on the visited person, he/she will be exhausted by too many people.
4.7) Don't overstay your visit. When I first started off as a chaplain intern, I thought the longer the stay, the higher quality is the visit. When I examined this assumption, I realized it was due to my lack of security. The longer the stay, the more tired the visited person. I would suggest keeping home visit to an hour time frame.
4.8) Don't plan a home visit if you are not ready. If you are heavily preoccupied with a family quarrel or a squabble with your colleague or boss, or are tight pressed against a deadline, you are more likely to be distracted. Settle what you need to settle first in order to be fully present. If you are emotionally hurt, nurse your wound first. Some visits may open a deeper wound.
Thus ends my list. In the New Testament, Jesus expects his church to feed and to provide water to the hungry and thirsty, welcome strangers, clothe the naked, take care of the sick, and to visit those in prison (Matt 25:35-6). Whatever we did for the least of those among us, we are doing it for Christ (Mt 25:40). I pray and hope that you will be blessed in the same way the visited person is blessed by you through your visit. May God's Spirit sensitize you to God's presence and reunite all of us in Jesus Christ.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Being a cancer patient in clinical setting
I find Dr. David Servan-Schreiber’s description of being a cancer patient to be very apt,
I entered a colorless world. It was a world where people were afforded no recognized qualifications, no profession. A world in which nobody was interested in what you did in life or what might be going through you mind. Often the only interesting thing about you was your latest scan. I discovered that most of my doctors didn't know how to treat me as a patient and a colleague at the same time. At a dinner party one evening, my oncologist at the time, a brilliant specialist I very much liked, also turned out to be a guest. When I arrived I saw him turn pale, then get up and leave after some vague excuse. Suddenly I had the feeling that there was a club of the living and I was getting the message that I wasn't a member. I began to feel frightened that I was in a category apart, a category of people defined primarily by their disease. I was afraid of becoming invisible. Afraid of no longer existing, even before dying. Perhaps I was going to die soon, but I still wanted to live fully up to the end. (David Servan-Schreiber, Anticancer: A New Way of Life. New York: Viking Penguin, 2008. pp.17-8).Servan-Schreiber is a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine and when he was diagnosed with a brain tumor, he experienced being in a different world. I had an almost similar experience when I was with my oncologist in her clinic. She was not interested in the fact that I had studied theology in Boston, was a chaplain intern, had worked in a hospital setting, provided spiritual care and support for dozens of patients, and I am now feeling displaced as a cancer patient. She was not interested in my past, nor who I am. She was only interested in how soon I could get a CT scan for her to establish a new baseline (she said this repeatedly during our 2nd meeting), so that she could put me on adjuvant systemic treatment (she repeated this during our 1st meeting). I was just another cancer patient to her. Whatever I clung on to prove that I am a unique human being was in the process of being taken away in the clinic. At least, she did not ask my spouse to leave nor ask me to change into the hospital gown as my spouse and my street clothing were my last shred of evidence verifying my uniqueness as a human being. If I were to be in hospital gown and alone by myself, I might have felt like a faceless digit in the presence of my oncologist.
Top Ten Not so Very Helpful things to say to someone experiencing the loss of a loved one
I learned the following from my clinical and pastoral education program, and I thought it will be helpful to share with those who are trying to comfort others in needs (and I have pasted them on my Facebook notes on August 6, 2010).
Top Ten Not so Very Helpful things People Say to Someone Experiencing the Loss of a Loved One.
10. God needs him more than you do.
9. God gave him this disease in order to test you.
8. God never gives you more than you can handle.
7. God loves him so much that he's taking him home.
6. I know exactly how you feel, my cat died last week.
5. I'm sorry this is so bad for you because I love you and I know this is terribly hard on you.
4. Well, you would not want him to live in the shape he is in, would you?
3. We have to be strong so we can give the victory to Jesus.
2. You think this is bad! You should have lived through World War II.
1. So, do you think you'll re-marry soon?
Top Ten Not so Very Helpful things People Say to Someone Experiencing the Loss of a Loved One.
10. God needs him more than you do.
9. God gave him this disease in order to test you.
8. God never gives you more than you can handle.
7. God loves him so much that he's taking him home.
6. I know exactly how you feel, my cat died last week.
5. I'm sorry this is so bad for you because I love you and I know this is terribly hard on you.
4. Well, you would not want him to live in the shape he is in, would you?
3. We have to be strong so we can give the victory to Jesus.
2. You think this is bad! You should have lived through World War II.
1. So, do you think you'll re-marry soon?
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
Talking about cancer
The English writer Julia Darling was suffering from cancer when she penned this:
Adam Wishart whose father died of cancer wrote a book describing how his father coped with cancer and how the family was affected. While narrating his father’s cancer, he also blends in the history of cancer treatment which I find to be a delightful read. Here’s what he says towards the end of his book,
Indeed, I think there is a need to learn how to talk about cancer, rather than pretending the illness is not there or affecting the one whom we love. I am not sure whether it is our Chinese culture’s emphasis on face that hushes discussion of the illness. It is by being honest and frank with one’s illness that one can continue to have the courage to face it and to walk the journey together with those whom he/she loves. I differ with Julia Darling about not getting emotional as it is only human to be emotional when his/her loved one is afflicted with terminal illness. I do understand the burden of the cancer patient to want to comfort those who are saddened and emotional. However, when friends and family members do get emotional, it is an avenue for all of us to cry together, to embrace each other and to walk this tough journey authentically together.
But I believe it may not be necessary to disclose the illness to every friends as some are not in a state whereby they are ready to empathize and attune to their own emotion. Some lack the capacity for grief as they are accustomed to a life of stability and have been living in a facade of success. It is a risk to make one's illness known. It is a risk to make oneself vulnerable and not knowing the outcome of that risk. I believe taking the risk may be worth it if one holds the conviction that life is still beautiful despite the many flaws and ugliness, and the beauty is enhanced or manifested when the friend and befriended, when the lover and beloved choose to stay committed in their relationship even when faced with the prospect of imminent separation. However, when either one chooses to forego this commitment, it is the cost of the risk one has chosen.
Be direct, say "How's your cancer?" Try not to say how well we look compared to when you met in Safeway's. Please don't cry, or get emotional, and say how dreadful it all is. Also (and this is hard I know) try not to ignore the ill, or to scurry past, muttering about a bus, the bank. Remember that this day might be your last and that it is a miracle that any of us stands up, breathes, behaves at all. (Julia Darling, “How to Behave with the Ill,” quoted in Adam Wishart, One in Three: A Son’s Journey into the history and science of cancer. New York: Grove Press, 2007. pp. 233. Please access http://juliadarling.co.uk/retro/behave.html for the full version of the poem.)
Adam Wishart whose father died of cancer wrote a book describing how his father coped with cancer and how the family was affected. While narrating his father’s cancer, he also blends in the history of cancer treatment which I find to be a delightful read. Here’s what he says towards the end of his book,
We need desperately, therefore, to learn how to talk about cancer and to regard it no longer as a painful taboo. There is an urgent need to do so, because each of us will one day be touched by the disease, as one in three people will be diagnosed with it within their lifetimes. It is time to understand that cancer is becoming a disease to live with rather than only die from. (Ibid)
Indeed, I think there is a need to learn how to talk about cancer, rather than pretending the illness is not there or affecting the one whom we love. I am not sure whether it is our Chinese culture’s emphasis on face that hushes discussion of the illness. It is by being honest and frank with one’s illness that one can continue to have the courage to face it and to walk the journey together with those whom he/she loves. I differ with Julia Darling about not getting emotional as it is only human to be emotional when his/her loved one is afflicted with terminal illness. I do understand the burden of the cancer patient to want to comfort those who are saddened and emotional. However, when friends and family members do get emotional, it is an avenue for all of us to cry together, to embrace each other and to walk this tough journey authentically together.
But I believe it may not be necessary to disclose the illness to every friends as some are not in a state whereby they are ready to empathize and attune to their own emotion. Some lack the capacity for grief as they are accustomed to a life of stability and have been living in a facade of success. It is a risk to make one's illness known. It is a risk to make oneself vulnerable and not knowing the outcome of that risk. I believe taking the risk may be worth it if one holds the conviction that life is still beautiful despite the many flaws and ugliness, and the beauty is enhanced or manifested when the friend and befriended, when the lover and beloved choose to stay committed in their relationship even when faced with the prospect of imminent separation. However, when either one chooses to forego this commitment, it is the cost of the risk one has chosen.
Decision to defer my CT scan to Dec 6
I have been reading more about cancer from books and medical journals in the last one month than in other month. I found out from a study in New England Journal of Medicine (July 1, 2010 issue) that exposure to CT scan can increase risk of cancer by as much as 1 in 80, i.e. 1.25%. This is contrary to the information given by my oncologist. When I was a chaplain intern at Massachusetts General Hospital I learned to be an advocate for my patients. I remember there was a patient at MGH who preferred not to continue treatment and his request was ignored by his medical doctor, and I brought this issue up to the medical practitioner in-charge of him and we deliberated over this together. There was another patient who had lung infection complicated by urinary tract infection (UTI) and I had to check with the nurse in-charge of him whether his UTI medication was included in his take-home medication package. Now I have to be my own advocate by reading books and journals about the paradigm which Western medicine operates and the possible protocol. I also discovered that my type of kidney cancer is considered rare (Type II papillary renal cell cancer to be more exact) and my treatment option is limited for my stage of kidney cancer. I also learned about medical studies done on anticancer food could not make it into the mainstream medical scene for obvious reason that these food cannot be patented. For the sake of comparison, a relatively minor anticancer medicine such as Taxol brings in a billion US dollar a year to the company holding the patent according to David Servan-Schreiber’s Anticancer: A New Way of Life.
I have been informed last month that I will be given targeted treatment through drug that is designed to inhibit the growth of cancerous cells (technically called anti-angiogenesis drug, and not to be confused with chemotherapy). When the drug loses its effect within few months as the more resistant cancerous cells become dominant, I will be given another type of drug till the option is exhausted, and the cancerous cells will be uncontrollable after that. This treatment will typically last for a year to a year and a half. If I were to pin my hope on Western medicine, my best hope lays in the invention of a gene-targeted drug for my type of kidney cancer that would stop the further replication of my mutated cancerous cells. This type of treatment called the gene-targeted treatment was first successfully pioneered for chronic myeloid leukaemia patients with the drug Gleevec in 1999. Since this type of gene-targeted drug for my kidney cancer is not available yet, I am sticking to regular alternative treatment consisting of Chinese herbs, finger pressing of meridian to stimulate blood circulation, practice of Tai Ji, diet of anticancer food, and natural supplements to boost immune system and to combat cancer. As I am not sure how much of this alternative treatment will work for me, I have decided give myself more time to try it out and have postponed my original CT scan scheduled yesterday to Dec 6, and my appointment with my oncologist to Dec 13. Added on to my arsenal of tool is learning to attune to my psychological state and to break free from feeling helpless. I understand from Servan-Schreiber’s Anticancer that our psychological state plays an important role in managing cancer and as a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine, Servan-Schreiber has clinical studies to support his theory which is still considered new to the mainstream oncologists.
I believe Professor Vincent T. DeVita’s textbook Cancer: Principles & Practice of Oncology has set the tone for most oncologists. This author discovered the cure for Hodgskin’s disease by combined chemotherapy and is the former director of the National Cancer Institute in U.S. According to Servan-Schreiber, the latest edition of the textbook does not have a single chapter on the role of nutrition in the treatment of cancer or the prevention of relapses. This further helps me to understand why my oncologist is not likely to explore alternatives outside the National Cancer Center’s protocol. If you could, please continue to pray for my physical healing and spiritual healing (physical: cancer; spiritual: brokenness I experienced). I pray that my alternative treatment will be effective and my coming CT scan will testify to it. Even if that does not happen, may I continue to spend my time meaningfully with God, with God’s community of people, with family members, and be an instrument of blessing to others. As a result of being a cancer patient, I found myself with greater empathy and able to connect to others who have/had illness themselves or are affected because their loved one is suffering.
I have been informed last month that I will be given targeted treatment through drug that is designed to inhibit the growth of cancerous cells (technically called anti-angiogenesis drug, and not to be confused with chemotherapy). When the drug loses its effect within few months as the more resistant cancerous cells become dominant, I will be given another type of drug till the option is exhausted, and the cancerous cells will be uncontrollable after that. This treatment will typically last for a year to a year and a half. If I were to pin my hope on Western medicine, my best hope lays in the invention of a gene-targeted drug for my type of kidney cancer that would stop the further replication of my mutated cancerous cells. This type of treatment called the gene-targeted treatment was first successfully pioneered for chronic myeloid leukaemia patients with the drug Gleevec in 1999. Since this type of gene-targeted drug for my kidney cancer is not available yet, I am sticking to regular alternative treatment consisting of Chinese herbs, finger pressing of meridian to stimulate blood circulation, practice of Tai Ji, diet of anticancer food, and natural supplements to boost immune system and to combat cancer. As I am not sure how much of this alternative treatment will work for me, I have decided give myself more time to try it out and have postponed my original CT scan scheduled yesterday to Dec 6, and my appointment with my oncologist to Dec 13. Added on to my arsenal of tool is learning to attune to my psychological state and to break free from feeling helpless. I understand from Servan-Schreiber’s Anticancer that our psychological state plays an important role in managing cancer and as a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine, Servan-Schreiber has clinical studies to support his theory which is still considered new to the mainstream oncologists.
I believe Professor Vincent T. DeVita’s textbook Cancer: Principles & Practice of Oncology has set the tone for most oncologists. This author discovered the cure for Hodgskin’s disease by combined chemotherapy and is the former director of the National Cancer Institute in U.S. According to Servan-Schreiber, the latest edition of the textbook does not have a single chapter on the role of nutrition in the treatment of cancer or the prevention of relapses. This further helps me to understand why my oncologist is not likely to explore alternatives outside the National Cancer Center’s protocol. If you could, please continue to pray for my physical healing and spiritual healing (physical: cancer; spiritual: brokenness I experienced). I pray that my alternative treatment will be effective and my coming CT scan will testify to it. Even if that does not happen, may I continue to spend my time meaningfully with God, with God’s community of people, with family members, and be an instrument of blessing to others. As a result of being a cancer patient, I found myself with greater empathy and able to connect to others who have/had illness themselves or are affected because their loved one is suffering.
Coronary artery and plant-based diet
(T. Colin Campbell, The China Study: The Most Comprehensive Study of Nutrition Ever Conducted. Dallas, Texas: Benbella Books, 2006. p. 128.)
A patient with a heart problem at forty-four years decided to try out Dr. Caldwell B. Esselstyn, Jr. ‘s dietary program without any cholesterol-lowering medication, and after thirty-two months, this patient reversed his heart disease and lowered his blood cholesterol to 89 mg/dL. The picture on the left section shows his coronary artery before switching to the plant-based diet. The one on the right shows the same artery opening up after adopting a whole foods, plant-based diet. Dr. Caldwell has been doing studies of patients whose blood cholesterol changed after adapting his recommended diet since 1985. By 2003, patients in his studies groups recorded forty-nine coronary events prior to a whole foods, plant-based diet, and zero events for those who adhered to a whole foods, plant-based diet. This is another evidence how switching diet could radically change the disease. (From Campbell, The China Study, pp. 127-9)
Monday, November 08, 2010
Mouse with aggressive tumor and without
(David Servan-Schreiber, Anticancer: A New Way of Life. New York: Viking Penguin, 2008. pp.112)
Both mice without immune system were injected with human lung cancer cells by Richard Beliveau’s research team at Sainte-Justine Children’s Hospital, Montreal. One mouse developed aggressive tumor, while the other had the tumor in check. What’s the difference in their diet? The one that had the tumor in check was given a diet of brussels sprouts, broccoli, garlic, scallions, turmeric, black pepper, cranberries, grapefruit, and even a bit of green tea. Its proportions were calculated so that the diet matched what a human could take in during an ordinary day: 100 grams (4 ounces) of cabbage, 50 grams (2 ounces) of blueberries, 2 grams (0.07 ounces) of tea, etc. The group of mice being fed with anticancer food had their tumors developed more slowly. Now we do have documentation on empirical studies of the effect of anticancer food in the lab.
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